Monday, April 5, 2010

Why I Deserve A Sugar High

  
     For moms with two-year-olds the world can be cruel and unsympathetic to our plight as we try to navigate our way through seemingly simple errands.  Today I just wanted to drop my two "older" kids off at preschool, take my 2 year old to My Gym and have a prescription filled.  Sounds easy, right?

Not so much.

  Since it's the first day back after Spring break, everyone slept in and we were running late.  And it's raining in L.A., which makes our kids spazz out and have to put on boots and all kinds of extra gear.  We got to preschool about 15 minutes late, which meant that we'd be late for My Gym.  The two-year-old screamed the whole way because he wanted to play the "Ahh Ahh Game"...it's some stupid Monkey game on my iPhone...and I really don't know why the kid can't say the word monkey yet.  He was being really irritating so I threatened not to take him.  He screamed louder.  Then I realized that that was actually punishing ME, not him.  My Gym gives me an hour break from trying to entertain the little guy, plus, I get to socialize with my friend.   Otherwise, it's just him and me at home the whole day and I wasn't going to have that.  I NEED to see other people during the day or I'll go insane.  So we went. Yes, I know, I made an empty threat.  Save it, parenting experts.

   After My Gym I stopped at CVS, where I stood in line for 10 minutes only to learn I was in the "Pick Up" line, not the "Drop Off" line.  Annoying.  Then I stood on the red line for drop off's and waited for the couple in front on me to finish up their conversation with the pharmacist, which was in Chinese.  It felt like it took about 20 minutes and I started to wonder if they were just gossiping.  Meanwhile, Mr. 2 year old was in the process of pooping his pants.  I started to get agitated and began to scoff at the length of time the couple was taking.  I was hoping that the diaper smell would be so disturbing it would hurry them along.  No such luck.  The pharmacist FINALLY took my order and said "We'll call your name in about 20 minutes".  So Mr. Poopy Pants and I picked out some diapers and wipes, I chased after him and reprimanded him for touching all of the breakable items in the store.  And no, I couldn't put him in a cart because he'd scream on the top of his lungs, plus then he'd be sitting in his dirty diaper.  We ate the bag of M and M's my 5 year old left in my purse and I opened up a bag of Smart Food.  The Poopster dropped popcorn all over the carpet.  I picked up what I could and pretended not to see the rest. We continued to wait and the smell of the diaper was getting worse, but there was no way that I could leave and come back.  Mr. Poops ran up and down the aisles and made me chase him, he was giggling, I was not.  During all of this I had an intense sneezing/allergy attack so my nose was itching, eyes were watering and I was so tired!  Finally, I took my little guy under my arm and marched up to the counter.

"Excuse Me."  I said to the pharmacist.  "How much longer will my prescription take?"

"Oh, you mean this one?"  She reached behind her and grabbed the prescription that had obviously been sitting there for quite some time.

"You mean, you guys didn't even call my name? I've been standing here the whole time."  I wanted to reach over the counter and tackle her.

"I don't know about that, I don't do that part".  She seemed to take on a snotty, defensive tone.

"Well, he smells like poop.  I wish someone had called my name."

"Well, I think he smells like popcorn" she said and smiled at him.

At this point, I envisioned myself leaping over the counter and rubbing the dirty diaper in her face.

I had about three other errands that I had planned to do, plus clean my house.  I ended up buying some Benedryl, and all I can do is lay down now.  The baby was throwing such a temper tantrum when I got home that I put him down for a nap without any lunch.  What a bust.  Sometimes it's difficult to see the accomplishments throughout my days.  That's where food can be quite satisfying. For one brief moment, I feel really, really good.  And don't I deserve to feel really, really good?

An M and M cookie and a chocolate brownie are staring me in the face right now....

29 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yikes!! What a day for you!! I would've smacked the Pharmacist. So anyway...Yeah, eat something good!!

Anavar said...

Kids can be very hard to handle outside and in stores. Everyone is watching you and wonder why is kid screaming. Well they probably don't have children yet. You totally deserved cookies.

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