Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Thong-th-thong-just-wrong

     Yesterday morning I walked into the gym locker room to find an extra-large woman lying on the ground in push-up position.  Her head was facing away from me and she was completely naked except for an old worn-out thong that was far too small and seemed to be desperately seeking refuge in her behind.  I was grossed out by a few things, 1.) her decision to put her hands on the locker room floor and 2.) the fact that her underwear was older than my son.  

     In the past, some of my readers and I have disagreed about locker room nudity.  I think being naked is fine and realize we all have the same stuff (for the most part).  I'm not vehemently opposed to nudity, but some people don't know when to quit.  AND THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!  You give people an inch, they take up 51/2 feet of the floor in front of the steam room.  And for all the nudists out there, just know that if you do choose to take all of your clothes off and start up a conversation with me, decide to stretch using the bathroom counter, blow dry your hair or do push-ups, I WILL LOOK AT YOU.  I'm not a lesbian, but I can't help it.  I just think it's a natural curiosity that I think most people have.  So, if you flaunt it, just know, I'm WATCHING YOU!