Friday, November 6, 2009

The Power of Negative Thinking


      I consider myself a "glass is half full" kind of person.  I try my best to look at the positive and give people (including myself) the benefit of the doubt.  I had a fantastic conversation with my nutritionist this week about the psychology of weight loss and how being positive thinker may not be benefiting my efforts.  He took a seminar with Tony Robbins who suggested looking at things in a new way.  People do things for two reasons:  to GAIN PLEASURE or AVOID PAIN.

     It doesn't behoove me to think "How will my life be better if I lose this weight or accomplish this goal?"  Well, the truth is --not much.  I will still be married to a great guy with my three little munchkins.  If I lose the weight I will still live in the same house, have the same amount of money and have the same supportive friends.  The big difference is that I will be healthier, I will fit into cute jeans, I will keep up with my kids and can tell you I accomplished this goal...I may even be a little bit happier.  But so what?  Is that enough not to indulge in some birthday cake? Not really.

The truth is, none of the that is that enticing.  I mean, it's nice.  But it's not enough.

NEGATIVE THINKING, on the other hand, can be MUCH more powerful.  I decided to make a list of the things that might happen if I don't lose weight.  Some of them are far-fetched, but here goes:

- I won't be present in family photos because I'm embarrassed and feel self-conscious.
-  I won't be able to shop in the "normal" stores anymore.
- I'll skip my high school reunion because I'm embarrassed.

- I will be one of those women in a clip on the news, when they report of fat people.  You know, when they just show their fat butt and not their faces?
- People will point at me and laugh and kids will say "mom, did you see that fat lady?"
- I will avoid being in my bathing suit which=denying my kids trips to the beach.
-  My kids will be embarrassed to be with me.
- I will have to be the woman on the plane requesting the seat belt extension, or worse, my ass won't fit into an airplane seat at all and I won't be able to travel.
- My husband will divorce me because I don't want to travel or go to the beach.
-  The kids will avoid me or find me disgusting.
-  I will develop diabetes, have a heart attack or develop Cancer.
-  I will die and not be around to see my kids graduate from high school, get married, or become parents.


I haven't been updating my workouts and meals, taking a bit of a break.  Yesterday I did 30 minutes of cardio and added in some strength moves-  lat pull downs, downward facing dog, thighs, lifting weighted ball above head until I was sore.  The day before I did 30 minutes of cardio-bike & elliptical.

What motivates you to work out, to GAIN PLEASURE or to AVOID PAIN?


stacey and why are you weighting? said...

I am a very positive thinker (atleast I try to be most of the time) and thinking that way has worked for me. I used to be a terribly negative thinker, and that was part of what led me to having a big weight problem. I used to think "I can't do this (dieting), it's too hard" or "Who am I to want to look fabulous and wear great clothes, I'm too fat." It was only by changing my thinking to focus on the positive that worked for me to shed 135 lbs which I've kept off for 6 years. Here's an example of thinking negatively vs positively :
Instead of thinking "I don't want to be fat" (negative "don't") I changed it to "I want to be slim" which has a very different energy behind it. Once you understand how the brain works, you realize that what you think about comes about. So thinking about fat led to fat. Thinking about health and slimness led to that. I wrote a book to share what I had learned about how the brain plays into weight and called it "Why Are You Weighting? It's Not The Food That's Making You Fat!" The brain directs everything, EVERYTHING, the body does, including what it weighs. Permanent weight reduction must involve the brain and it's thinking to get results. Keep up your good work and good luck with your journey, I wish you well!

Anonymous said...

I hadn't looked at it that way. I always appreciate reading what you're up to. Keep up the good work! ;)

KMac said...

Thanks Stacey. I appreciate you sharing your story. Bravo to you for losing 135 lbs! That is truly AMAZING! I agree that positivity will take you where you want to go. But when you are in the 'Danger Zone', ready to give up and just accept who you do you push through?

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