Saturday, November 21, 2009

How do I make my husband fat?



My three year old recently pointed to my belly and said "mom, why doesn't dad have that?"

I said "what?" in a a sarcastic tone, knowing full well what she meant.

"A big belly like that."  she said.

I answered in the most sugary, sweet tone I could fake. "We've been over this sweetie.  You and your brothers all lived in there and because you stretched it out, it's big.  You didn't get to live in daddy's belly, only in mine, it's just stretched out a little."  I answered.

The bitterness started to set in. Why WAS daddy's belly so flat?  He eats more than I do, doesn't ever worry about mixing carbs and proteins and he doesn't work out as often.  Every time I see the scale move in the right direction, his moves down even more.   I was so frustrated, I tracked down a trainer at my gym who I can hire to help bulk up my sweet but thin husband.  Don't get me wrong, he's lean and fit and completely adorable but I took the trainer's number and pleaded with him to make my husband weigh more than me.  Yes, he weighs less, it's embarrassing, I know.

So now one of my goals is to weigh less than 'skinny hubby'.  I'm just going to help the process a bit.  If I can't make my scale go down, then he's going to have to help me out and put on the lbs!  Besides forcing him to pump iron, I am going to make his meals laden with the most decadent cheeses and fattening cream sauces.  I'll start sending chocolate chip muffins and cookies into his office.  Maybe I'll put a cup of protein powder in every meal.  Whether or not I make my goal of 15 lbs by Thanksgiving, I will be focused on improving my BMI and I am now driven to weigh less and get rid of the remnants of my babies' "home".

Wish me luck!  Any other suggestions on how to fatten up my guy?

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